it's been a week...

...since the tragic accident and i still feel the sadness and the loss. not that i'm that close to Oton but i feel sorry for Joyce. i know how much she loved him and it must be really hard for her to get this over with. i wish i could be there for her - well, it's not like i could do anything to ease the pain but you know,just be there to comfort and support her through this trying times.

i've known Joyce for almost eight years now and we're very close back in Uni. she's one of the few person whom i immediately cliqued when we met each other. an ex-schoolmate introduced us to each other and it felt like i've known her forever. we have a lot in common... what people called "satu kepala". Still remember during the Minggu Aluan Siswa in UTM, the first day we met, we're already having so much fun checking on the hot and good looking guys and making fun of those funny-looking, wierd, un-hot and un-good looking guys during the long and boring talk. in my life, there are only two person i can share/confide everything with and she's one of them. believe me, she knows a lot about me and maybe she know me better than i know myself. i know i can always count on her. and i feel really bad not being able to be there for her :-(

i've known oton a lot longer than joyce. he's my junior back in high school. i once attended a fully residential school and when i was in form 2, i was chosen to be a prefect. then, there was this orientation week for freshies (form 1 students) and we, as prefects, have to be their mentors. that was when i first saw him. he was the cutest boy of them all and i've noticed one thing about him which i think i'll remember for the rest of my life - he has the most beautiful, wonderful, charming and sincere smile i've ever seen. his smile can warm the heart of anyone who sees it and i bet he has melted many girls' heart by his smile. so sincere you'd feel like a sinner if u failed to return that smile. i don't know him much (except by the stories told by joyce), i know him, he knows me, exchanged "hi"s and "hello"s when we saw each other in town but not more than that. oh, by the way, i've met their eldest sister jocelyn and she too has the same smile as his. he's one cool guy, from stories i heard from others and from the testimonials written on his Friendster profile (yes, he's on Friendster and goes by the name Oton). a terrible loss to his family and to those who knows him.

i found this in the comment section of Loly's blog (My Condelence March 11, 2005). written by Callix *hi Callix!*. this is really beautiful and i think this is what we all would like to say to him. i hope you dont mind if i pasted this here, Callix.

Dear Oton,

No words are truer spoken.....rest in peace, my friend.....go with the Lord now...and watch over us all down here on earth.....we will surely miss you immensely. Well, I thought I was going to get to pester you a little while longer but you had to go and I wish I could have been with you but that's one trip we all have to make by ourselves one day. I just wish your day hadn't had to come so soon. You are one of those "virtual" friends who were always there when you are needed, always had a kind word, and was a wealth of information for those who needed help the most. You will always be missed, and most importantly, my heart goes out to you. Don't worry mate, you'll always have a place in my thoughts and deep in my heart. May you enter the Kingdom of God above there and Rest In Peace.

It's me,
CALLIX

he (Oton) has touched many people's lives in different ways and for me, by his smile. i believe he would want us to always remember him that way...

Remember Me This Way - Jordan Hill

Every now and then
We find a special friend
who never lets us down...

Who understands it all
reaches out each time we fall
you're the best friend i have found...

I know you can't stay
a part of you will never ever go away
your heart will stay.....

I'll make a wish for you,
and hope it will come true,
if life will just be kind,
to such a gentle mind,
if you lose your way,
think back on yesturday
remember me this way,
remember me this way.

I don't need eyes to see
the love you bring to me,
no matter where I go
and I know that you'll be there
forever-more a part of me and everywhere
I'll always care.....

I'll make a wish for you
and hope it will come true,
if life will just be kind,
to such a gentle mind,
and if you lose your way
think back on yesturday
remember me this way,
remember me this way.

and I'll be right behind your shoulder,watching you
I'll be standing by your side, all you do
and I won't ever leave
as long as you believe,
you just believe....

I'll make a wish for you
and hope it will come true
if life will just be kind
to such a gentle mind
and if you lose your way
think back on yesterday
remember me this way
remember me this way.