Ambitious?

i remember back in primary school, we were often asked about what we want to be when we grow up. we were even asked to write it down in paper and pass it up to our class teacher, every year! and i remember my ambition changed each year. i wanted to be a doctor – coz everybody wants to be a doctor. then, i wanted to be a teacher. soon after, i decided that i wanted to be a nurse. After a few years, i found out that lawyers make good money – so i decided that i wanted to be a lawyer. then in highschool, i discovered that i was quite good with numbers, so i decided that i wanted to be an accountant.

as i grew older, as i began to understand what each job is all about, i realized that choosing what you want to be when you finish school is actually a very very hard and confusing task. i realized that i couldn’t even decide on what i wanted to become later in life. being in this ‘unsure zone’ made me lost my focus too - so, i just went with the flow…

i ‘accidentally’ put myself in Science stream class after PMR examination coz i didn’t know what class interest me. and i did okay – i passed my SPM. then, i have to make another decision – which uni to go? still being unsure, i just filled up all the forms and waited for any uni that will accept me.

finally, i received an offer from UTM for a Computer Science course – a course that i have absolutely no idea about. i wasn’t familiar with computers back then, i didn’t even know what internet or email is and i bet the term BLOG didn’t even exist at that time.

i had almost declined the offer coz i thought that it would be nice to work straight away than to pursue my studies. MAS was conducting an interview in my area at that time and i was considering  to try my luck. but after a few persuasion session with my mom, i gave in and went to uni.

again, because i haven’t really decide on what i wanted to be and since i still couldn’t grasp the concept of being a computer programmer, i got distracted and barely passed for a diploma.

soon, i started working – as a computer programmer – and i thought being one is not so bad at all. in fact, i think i enjoyed being a programmer [at that time]. after a while, [and after having job insecurities experience(s)] i began to feel the need of getting a secure job and i landed one. BUT, after a few years of being in this job, i started feeling demotivated. Waking up in the morning is a constant struggle that i have to endure every morning. dragging myself to work each day is exhausting.

and now, i guess i finally know what i want to be in life….

After so long, i finally have an ambition!

I finally know what i want to be when i grow up!

I want to be………………

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A……

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SAHM!!!!!

Yep! u read that right!! I want to be a Stay At Home Mom!!!!

Now, wish me luck, you all!

I knew i couldn’t afford to become a SAHM real soon, but at least now i’m certain about what i want in life. At least now, i know what my goal is and i have a direction so that i won’t be lost anymore…

ABISSSSSS…..