Perhaps I Should..

hubby and the kids are playing badminton at the front lawn.. wanted to join them but i’m kinda having a crappy day today… i think mostly because of the heat and because of the blackouts we’ve been having since friday.

i feel quite bad coz i know it’s Father’s day today and i should be doing something good for hubby instead of snapping at every word he said. but then again, blame it on the weather. sapa suruh telampau panas!

now, let me drag u guys back to my previous ‘burning’ question. Should I or shouldn’t I go to my convocation.

i said earlier that I’m not keen on going and thank you for all your comments.

i felt the need to justify the reasons behind my ‘not keen on going’ statement after reading anonymous’ comment. not that i’m offended – well, maybe slightly – but i do have my reasons, ok.

1. i’ll be 30 yrs old this year and i am only about to receive my bachelor’s degree scroll. my degree convo should have been 8 years ago, if only i didn’t spend my time getting distracted by so many insignificant things. i should hv not wasted my time. 30 yrs old, this is supposed to be the time i attended my master’s degree convo. so, i’m not keen on going because this is not supposed to be the right time for me to receive it. i don’t feel the excitement anymore…

2. i sat in convocation ceremony every year since 2003. this year should be my 6th year being on duty during convo. and i’ve seen the havoc caused by students outside the hall, i’ve seen havoc caused by parents and relatives during convo and i thought to myself, i don’t wanna be a part of that chaos just to receive a piece of scroll. i know i’d be one of the responsible ones (ahem!) but i also know that almost all the others won’t. Gosh!! God forbid, if someone fell, i’m sure she/he would be trampled upon without mercy. talk about all those supposed to be educated ppl, most of them are too proud to follow instructions.

3. when i asks my friends on what’s so special about convocation, most of them said it’s because u’ll get your photo taken with your robe on. i thought, if that’s what the excitement is all about, i can just rent a robe and take photos at a studio and around the university. but then again, taking photos at the university i work for doesn’t make sense to me. i mean, i can always take photos around the university anytime, i work there…

4. i’ll get my 4 passes for 4 family members to be in the hall during the ceremony. who should i invite? hubby? my parents?? i don’t think they are keen on going too… like i said before, the time has passed and the excitement is not there anymore.

5. i think i’ll look funny in the convo attire.

BUT…

after reading Misako’s comment, it made me realize that going to convo is not only about me, not about what i felt, not about whether the excitement is there or not… sorry… how selfish of me! I’ve never thought that going to convo is actually one of the many ways i can thank all the teachers and lecturers that hv sacrificed their weekends just so that we, the off-campus students can get the chance to receive the scroll! going to convo is on of many ways for me to be grateful for my second chance! sudahlah nda bagi apa2 sama diorg… at least walking up the stage and receiving the scroll will give them the joy, the happiness and the reasons on why they are doing what they do… other than Misako, i think there would be another 2 or 3 lecturers who’d feel honored seeing me up there… i really hope they would be there.. coz i wouldn’t have my second chance if it wasn’t because of you!

so i’ve made my decision.

I am going to attend the 11th UMS Convocation, not for me, but for everyone that have supported me throughout the 5 years of studying and I’ll make sure hubby and my parents are going to be there too!

anyways, i’ll be running the 10K run a day before my convo so…. i might look horribly sunburnt on my convo day. anybody wants to volunteer paitunging my face???